Hello! This is my post for my class. My proffessor asked us to post how we are going to edit our paper. I need to completely rewrite mine. I miss understood the assignment- typical me. However, I know what I want to do now with my paper and what the assignment is…I have a better understanding what I want to talk about. As you know, my paper is on Woman’s Issues. I thought it was on just Lucrita Mott and what she did to help it…I need to talk about what she did and what is happening today. Did what she tried to do actually happen? Has things changed since she was alive? Would she feel there is a sense of equality between men and woman, yet?
I personally don’t think there is. I don’t think she would either. We still don’t get paid the same, we still get treated differently and can’t play some of the same sports as men, even if we wanted to. I think I need to add more of my own opinions in the paper instead of just facts! I noticed that in some of the other sample papers I read. They had opinions in them. Mine was pure facts…how boring!
I also feel I need to come up with a thesis statement, I had one but it wasn’t really a thesis statement, it was just a statement that I kept talking about throughout the paper…I’m not sure what that is called but it wasn’t a thesis statement according to the lady who I had peer edit my paper at the college editing center. She tore my paper apart. But I’m glad she did.
I also need to fix the title. I dislike it. I think it’s boring. I am thinking of changing it to “Woman’s rights? What’s that? Does it exist?” I feel like that fits better. I feel like people will be attracted to it more. What do you think of it? Give me an opinion! I’d love to hear feedback on it. Titles are always my weakness…I don’t know what to title them…I’m always tempted to title things “Insert witty and funny title here…” But I know that’s not “acceptable”! But it is funny!
So that is what I am going to do to change my paper. I hope it works better this time.